Author: Dr Jo Ablett

How often do we ‘make do’ without even realising that is what we are doing?

I have had my home office space in a downstairs area for several years now. It was never ideal but was a compromise needed for the circumstances at the time. I’ve often berated myself (inner critic at work) for being disorganised with my filing, books and paperwork, when in fact having one corner of a multi purpose room is not conducive to running a small business and my consistent development needs.

In addition, I have not had a permanent internet cable so have relied on limited quality connectivity making quick and simple tasks much more difficult to achieve when the networks or Wi-Fi is busy.

The additional working from home and virtual therapy forced through COVID-19 has served as a catalyst for change. We have converted a small bedroom upstairs to my new office and I’m so excited to have a proper space all to myself.

It also makes online therapy so much more accessible, both for timings and a more guaranteed quality connection, and I will be taking advantage of this by offering people more flexibility and access options, and joining up with some innovative and exciting platforms.

But, the interesting aspect is that it is only as this has started to become a reality, that I’ve recognised the compromises I have been making and the added difficulty of working in the space I have had. To be honest, I even had some resistance to changing it (the pull of the familiar….those old behavioural patterns). Now, I cannot believe how well I have managed and can see how my ‘disorganisation’ was due to a lack of space. Though I do admit I can be cluttered, usually trying to do and read too many things at once.

Reflections…..

So, where are you ‘making do’ and are their other options reasonably easily available to you that could improve your quality of life and ease your stress levels?

Have you become too used to ‘making do’ and feeling that prioritising your own needs is not important, valid or relevant?

Is there a small thing that you could change in the near future (or even today!) which would make a big difference?

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Excited to have contributed to my favourite meditation application, Insight Timer, as a Publisher. I like Insight Timer because there is such a varied choice of meditations, relaxations, poetry, or music that it really gives the user options. Most of these are free but you can pay a subscription to access courses covering specific themes over a number of days if you need a kickstart or some particular support in a more structured manner. There are some other benefits to subscribing but you can access my published audios free of charge!

I do appreciate that if you are new to meditation or mindfulness, the amount of choice available might seem overwhelming. If this is the case, I would advise you to search by a general theme, such as, Mindfulness or Yoga Nidra, and a time length. These two filters will reduce your options and enable you to be more confident in your choice. Remember, some teachers will work for you and some won’t and this is a very personal response. We respond better to certain voices and ways of guiding us through relaxation. Play around with an open mind and find a few you enjoy 🙂 It also takes practice to ‘relax’ or meditate if you are not used to it, and especially if you are someone who keeps yourself busy all the time, perhaps to avoid painful thoughts, feelings or memories or perhaps because you feel taking time out is ‘lazy’ or an indulgence you cannot afford. Taking time for ourselves and prioritising our own needs are very important to keeping our mental and physical wellbeing. Most people find that taking this time to recharge, refocus and restore actually improves their productivity and happiness and prevents or reduces sleep problems, overwhelming stress levels and physical symptoms such as pain.

So, I fully acknowledge that the audios approved so far on my publisher profile are not perfect. They both needed some more work/re-recording but I was keen to get something out there during these times and contribute to people’s wellbeing tools. If I had have waited to have the time to re-record, this would have held off my progress in moving forward with this goal. I reflected on whether it was better to publish something ‘good enough’ or to delay. Thankfully, some feedback on the Full Yogic Breath recording from my supportive and fabulous yoga teacher training colleagues gave e the confidence that ‘good enough’ was acceptable. This is something I would have found unacceptable years ago but in the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy spirit, I have got better at showing my imperfections and risking exposure to criticism.

Perfectionism traits have many benefits and often lead to success in areas of life, especially work. It is not a bad thing to want to do a job well. However, if we do not accept that we cannot always be perfect, this can lead to high stress or anxiety and hold us back from things we would like to achieve in life. Often these traits may stem from criticism in childhood/early adulthood or a particular experience(s) where someone has made you feel not ‘good enough’, worthless or devalued.

I am going to strive to be ‘good enough,’ and I encourage you to do the same.

That said……I am working on my next recordings! 😉

If you think my audios are beneficial, please leave a review/feedback and follow me on Insight Timer.

http://insig.ht/joablett79

http://insig.ht/gm_112666

http://insig.ht/gm_112171

Reflections……

Are there things that you would like to do but you put them off for fear of not being ‘good enough?’

Is it ok to be imperfect for you? Where might ideas to the contrary have come from?

Where could you practice showing a little vulnerability/risk of exposing imperfection? Start in small steps with supportive environments to build confidence.

Do you prioritise your own time/allow yourself space to reflect/restore/relax and refocus? Perhaps it’s worth giving this a try for a week and seeing what difference (if any) it makes to your wellbeing.

Look after yourselves,

Jo